Hello Lovely People
A number of people have criticised me because I wrote a book about widowhood when I have never been widowed.
My counterargument has been that being clairvoyant, I regularly cross the boundaries to another dimension. This crossing provides me with valuable information which I have now made available to people who need it.
Also, if you need help on dealing with a brain tumour, would you insist on consulting a doctor who has recovered from a brain tumour?
But I have just read an article which brought home another point which might help you.
Why does a person write a book to describe their grief and their journey? Is it to help other people in the same position? Or is it to alleviate their own grief? Most of the books I have found which were written by widowed people, focus on struggling from one day to the next, until the struggle eventually becomes less and the living becomes more.
I can understand that for some people it is very important to continue with their grieving for years, because that is how they define themselves. There are support groups which thrive on this “Hello, my name is Elsabe and I have been grieving for x years.”
But there are other people who understand that bereavement and grieving is part of life, and at some point they want to move on and define themselves in their own unique way.
Grieving is a journey towards defining yourself again – or for some people, defining themselves for the first time when they are no longer in the shadow of someone else.
If you want to write a book about your grieving process, by all means do so. This would be a healing process in itself. But do not fool yourself into thinking that you write the book to help anyone other than yourself.
I wish you strength and wisdom on your journey.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am a professional transition coach. I help individuals and companies to achieve their personal and professional goals. What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment? Visit www.ElsabeSmit.com for a FREE new start audit and a FREE food for thought subscription.
Elsabe,
I loved this article and of course the Doctor analogy! I do not think you have to be a widow or a doctor or anything else to write constructively about it. However, people walking your same journey relate to someone who has walked the same journey – that’s human nature. It’s one of those things that bonds people.
Do I know more about widowhood than you? Probably only the firsthand experience -
and do I think you are qualified to talk about it – sure why not! You are as qualified as I am when I talk about other types of grief on my blog, things I have not experienced.
Keep up your most interesting work on death, bereavement and grief. My hope is for more dialogue.
Thank you, Joanne. If I can help one person to move from physical or emotional pain to quality of life, I will be grateful.